Sorry it’s been a while. Still battling coming of the meds. Had a panic attack yesterday whilst out shooting for someone. Long story short, I have explicitly told them this time, that I do not like working with people over my shoulder.
They said they would let me in the house and be down the road this time. Sigh … I will still be able to feel their presence and wonder why I am even bothering. It’s more a case that they are upset with the last photographer and told me more about nosy neighbours and all that kind of shit. They really should of known better than to weight me down with all that shit. I ended up dropping one of my flashed and was not impressed with all the hype surrounding the job. I was a ball of sweat dripping all over the place.
Anyways, I have decided to go back (my wife is pushing me to do so) – this time I am going in lose clothing and can’t be fucked about whatever anyone else things. As long as no one else is there and I can take my fucking time, then I will be able to perform for the budget price they expect.
There is some more work on offer, however I wont be painted into a corner theat exceed my anxiety trigger. I don’t mind being a little out of my comfort zone, but will not go into situations that will make me ‘hate”
Packing up ready to go in about half hours time. I so much prefer Drone only work. Having said that though we do need the money to catch up on bills and actually stock the pantry with some food! – Here’s to a more successful day without so much pressure. I told them 3 hours – its a double story house with many rooms.
Goto go – On day 13 now coming off the meds. I think I am going to wing that battle and that is a huge thing to be proud of. I will learn to deal with shit soon enough.
I do little video soon on my next bush walk – I like the little video updates I sometimes do – feels like my friends are really there. Later guys.
Wishing you all well – other than yesterdays panic attack, I am dong quite ok 🙂